Comments on: Lingerers and Quitters http://escapeart.wordpress.com/2007/11/19/lingerers-and-quitters/ The Creative Liberation of an Ordinary Wage Slave Mon, 14 Sep 2009 19:51:29 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: Eliza Amos http://escapeart.wordpress.com/2007/11/19/lingerers-and-quitters/#comment-62 Eliza Amos Fri, 23 Nov 2007 23:32:31 +0000 http://escapeart.wordpress.com/2007/11/19/lingerers-and-quitters/#comment-62 And of course the Buddhists tell you to surf out these feelings, to sit with them and observe them rather than react to them. Inevitably, they contradict each other sometimes. So I find it useful to take note of ALL feelings and hang out with them for a while before I make a big decision. A while back, I read BLINK by Malcolm Gladwell and he advocated the exact opposite--that we should just act on our immediate feelings. When, at an event at Spirit Rock, I asked the oh-so wise Jack Kornfield about how to balance gut instincts with the Buddhist practice of sitting and observing, he sort of laughed and told me to find my own path. Damned Buddhists. All I know is that I feel better sitting and observing my feelings for a while, and THEN quitting--I mean acting. ;) And of course the Buddhists tell you to surf out these feelings, to sit with them and observe them rather than react to them. Inevitably, they contradict each other sometimes. So I find it useful to take note of ALL feelings and hang out with them for a while before I make a big decision.

A while back, I read BLINK by Malcolm Gladwell and he advocated the exact opposite–that we should just act on our immediate feelings. When, at an event at Spirit Rock, I asked the oh-so wise Jack Kornfield about how to balance gut instincts with the Buddhist practice of sitting and observing, he sort of laughed and told me to find my own path. Damned Buddhists.

All I know is that I feel better sitting and observing my feelings for a while, and THEN quitting–I mean acting. ;)

]]> By: Abigail Samoun http://escapeart.wordpress.com/2007/11/19/lingerers-and-quitters/#comment-60 Abigail Samoun Mon, 19 Nov 2007 21:10:41 +0000 http://escapeart.wordpress.com/2007/11/19/lingerers-and-quitters/#comment-60 One of the hardest questions to answer truthfully always seems to be 'How are you feeling?' We're supposedly the best experts on ourselves---after all, who other than ourselves has access to our most intimate thoughts and feelings?---yet why is it so often difficult to "be mindful of your true feelings"? Sometimes i think that the English language is dreadfully limited in terms of defining emotions, but maybe it's only that emotions can't often be pinned down to mad, sad, glad, and scared (I used to go to a therapist who would begin every session by asking me which one of these feelings I was currently experiencing). How can you possibly pin down how you feel about your mother, or boyfriend, or sister? Our true feelings toward the people we love are a mess of conflicting emotions---we love them, we can't stand them, we want to possess them, we want to get away from them, we want to get inside their heads, we want to hug them and never let go, we would rather die than see them suffer, we want to hurt them because they've hurt us----so OF COURSE we're confused. OF COURSE we feel unable to make definitive choices. So how does one learn to accept that middle way? One of the hardest questions to answer truthfully always seems to be ‘How are you feeling?’ We’re supposedly the best experts on ourselves—after all, who other than ourselves has access to our most intimate thoughts and feelings?—yet why is it so often difficult to “be mindful of your true feelings”? Sometimes i think that the English language is dreadfully limited in terms of defining emotions, but maybe it’s only that emotions can’t often be pinned down to mad, sad, glad, and scared (I used to go to a therapist who would begin every session by asking me which one of these feelings I was currently experiencing). How can you possibly pin down how you feel about your mother, or boyfriend, or sister? Our true feelings toward the people we love are a mess of conflicting emotions—we love them, we can’t stand them, we want to possess them, we want to get away from them, we want to get inside their heads, we want to hug them and never let go, we would rather die than see them suffer, we want to hurt them because they’ve hurt us—-so OF COURSE we’re confused. OF COURSE we feel unable to make definitive choices. So how does one learn to accept that middle way?

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